HJ,
I ran into a situation as well.. Dad is now passed and I cant get it back......
DONT BE LIKE ME!
Grim
Grim, been there, done that, too....mom engineered a serious divide between me and my younger sister....had moved to Florida when I retired only to come back and be mom's caregiver the last 6 yrs of her life. She claimed sister wasn't taking care of her like she promised. There was very progressive dementia/Alzheimer's involved. Bottom line, I walked away from a significant 7 figure inheritance rather than fight with sister in court, and bottom feeding lawyers were lusting over 25-30% of estate.
It seems all families have division in them to varying degrees. Personally, I've formulated that family will stab you before true friends. All of the division really is pointless - fault lands on both parties, again, to varying degrees.
Took me a bit to come to terms with it, partly due to it not being the first squabble between my sister and me....of which prior times she was clearly at fault, but I approached her and initiated the mending process.
What did I learn?....some cannot face the reality that the bulk of the blame falls on them, and they become enabled to continue with their bad behavior if the other party expresses continued forgiveness toward them.
I also learned that my sister harbored life long envy and jealousy toward me. I never sensed it.
Bottom line is, I sleep well at night. But I haven't had any contact with my only sibling since mom passed in 2010.
The women from mom's church, who knew me well, reached out and told me of all the blaming lies my sister had told them. Yes, in my heart I forgave her....and I still sleep good at night, even 7 figures poorer.
My advice is, at fault or otherwise, put self aside and do the best you can to mend any broken familial bridges. Deceit and arrogance is the only thing stopping it from happening. Guaranteed, you'll sleep well if you've done the best you can toward resolution....especially if it involves a parent. Heed what the 5th of the Ten Commandments has to say. Eternity's a loooong time.
Wishing everyone the best who's in the divided family situation.
