My addiction to opids,and the people I hurt

[James montgomery]

It has been a long year for me I have lost alot and hurt alot of people....i toke advantage of the people on this site and didn't care as long as I got my next fix.....i lost ever thing I lost my wife,my house son and everything I worked hard for, I stole from my job as well for a fix and even toke advantage  of the friends I made here raceing at Hawkeye downs and from raceing rc cars, and then when i lost ever thing I started stealing from the pawn shops and been to jail for it and still going to freaking court for it 6 months later....i never ment for this to get out of control like it did but the power this drug had over me after two years was crazy,yes I started off taken my pain pills as I was to take them but then one wasn't working so I need two, well that wasn't enoughe so on to three ever 4 hours and then I started getting that high from them and that was it.....I stared taken over 100mg a day after a year and a half came around but still wasn't enoughe.....I was getting a script ever two weeks of 60 7.5 oxycotin that would last me maybe 4 days then I was buying 20 pills from a dealer  ever other day I had meet threw a friend and those would last two days and these where 10mg roxi for ten bucks a peace....i was spending over 800 DOLLARS  A WEEK!.....really for what my back pain b.s so I could get high....i had tryed rehab but the power this had over me was crazy I left after four days and went right to the dealer....the sickness I had was horrible and felt like I was dying and couldnt take it any more and all I thought about was getting high and not feeling like ****.....i then started buying heroin because I wasn't getting high fast enoughe....i started shooting up the herion and some how kept it from my wife as long as I did ,cuz I would get it from the same person I got the pills from....i kept on stealing from people on here and in town, my wife had no idea I was doing this at all until I finally  o.d for the first time and found me in the basement of her father's house in my chair...this was the first time but was not the last time I did it....i have been clean for four months now and getting back on my feet, I have another job and have been back with my wife now for two months and my boy....!....i lost ever thing I ever loved and people I made friends on here and the people who trust me on here to send me money and for me to send them what they bought.....i never ment for this to get out of control like it did or screw people over like I did......i owe alot of people things on here that I sold to others just to keep my fix comeing ever day....If I could go back to the first day the doc gave me them pills I would tell her he'll no I don't want them they will ruin u.....i have been busting my ass to get back on my feet and apologize  to ever one and get them what they asked for if I still have it....To most of u u might not belive this story but this is what happens and is the truth about my addiction....I had to hit rock bottom and being homeless to realize what was really going..Only after u hit rock bottom can u wake up and want to change...I hope that I can get people what they r owed and don't think of me as a bad person for the dumb stuff I did because I let some drug take control of me.......If u know any one who is going threw this please get them help be for it to late or they kill thems self!!!.....Dont enable them because u r only going to kill them slowly get them help be for it to late !!!

 I AM SO SORRY TO THE INTWATERS FAMILY!!!

 I hope no one goes threw what I went threw cuz this drug doesn't care who u r or what u love

 

[Grimracer]

James,

Every few years in ones life the page turns. Its how you deal with it that defines you. YOU have a story to tell and the good news is YOU CAN TELL IT YOURSELF!.. Some never get to speak again and I can tell you from FIRST hand experience what thats like. I (my family) am now the voice for one that did not make it.

Take time.. ONLY YOU can take care of YOU!

And then.. most important.. PICK UP A HOBBY!.. (ya all know we like RC boats!!!!)

Kind Regards

Grimracer

 

[SayMikey]

Stay clean dont get near the people you hung with. Do it for yourself and your family.

 

[Samuel Hagan JR]

Knowing  heroin and oppi addicts through my life I learned one thing. Words mean absolutely nothing. Your actions and what you do now define your life now. Glad to read that you have changed and is sober. I've had over 10 friends OD and Die From heroin in past 5 years. 1 shot and killed over a 40 dollar heroin debt. Your lucky to be alive.

Just remember to stay humble, talk to God, and walk with Jesus. And like Mikey said. Stay away from your poison. It's not the drug, it's the people. Be around good people and good things will happen. 

 

[James montgomery]

Thank u to both mikes for the words.....Grim I am very lucky to be alive cuz I o.d two more times be for my wife left me and then had nothing left.......i could not belive I had to hit rock bottom to realize what I was doing....the drug changes  the way u think and acked.....i sold all my boats to the pawn shop for 100 bucks a peace....really I had boats and motors worth 4 times that and sold all my r.c cars as well, sold my race car that I raced and sold everything to people just to get what I needed....stupid thing but I now have been going to a.a meetings every Thursday in town here and help at the local  recovery center and telling people my story....if I can get threw to just one person or to and change them awsome cuz then maybe they to can help be a voice for the ones who didn't make it as well......i have been taken it one day at a time yes I still get that feeling to do it but my will power I have now is much stronger then ever....i have gained weight  back after losing almost 80 lbs because all I had was herion or pills , the second time I o.d my heart did stop and yes I was dead for about 5 mins but there was someone watching over me and it just wasn't my time to go..... i had my angel looking over me and god had other plans for me witch I belive is to be the voice for others that had not made it threw like I did........i will continue  to help others and go to a.a class to keep my self around positive people to help me get back to where I was be for and what I had befor......i am loveing life once again and thank who ever was watching over me those three times that I o.d that I came back each time...thanks for reading guys....

 

[James montgomery]

Knowing  heroin and oppi addicts through my life I learned one thing. Words mean absolutely nothing. Your actions and what you do now define your life now. Glad to read that you have changed and is sober. I've had over 10 friends OD and Die From heroin in past 5 years. 1 shot and killed over a 40 dollar heroin debt. Your lucky to be alive.

Just remember to stay humble, talk to God, and walk with Jesus. And like Mikey said. Stay away from your poison. It's not the drug, it's the people. Be around good people and good things will happen. 

U r so right I have been busting my butt the last few months to get back what I lost....i know it will take time to get there but I know with hard work I can do it like I did be for all this happend.....and I do go to church no ever Sunday with my wife and son and it feels good to try and help others that where in my shoes.....drugs don't care who u love, or who u r or what u have they will take it all from u if u let it like I did....thank u samuel.....i would love to talk to more people and surround my self around the good

 

[Samuel Hagan JR]

U r so right I have been busting my butt the last few months to get back what I lost....i know it will take time to get there but I know with hard work I can do it like I did be for all this happend.....and I do go to church no ever Sunday with my wife and son and it feels good to try and help others that where in my shoes.....drugs don't care who u love, or who u r or what u have they will take it all from u if u let it like I did....thank u samuel.....i would love to talk to more people and surround my self around the good

 

[Samuel Hagan JR]

That's the hardest part. Getting rid of lose ends. Eliminating the people in your life that you called friends and some family. People you've probably known forever. You just gotta cut them loose. It's hard. That's the issue that I've seen a lot with people with an addiction. They just can't get away from them. You just gotta be heartless and put there feelings aside and put your goals first.

even putting family second until you get your stuff straight is more important. 

Do you have a Celebrate Recovery in your area?

 

[Rc painter]

STAND TALL James,will be tough road,you can do this

 

[Hydro Junkie]

James, it sounds like you're lucky you're still with us.
I too was given prescription narcotic pain killers, twice in fact. First time was after I had surgery, second was after a dental procedure. I found they didn't really help me and, after talking to the doctor and pharmacist, turned to a combination of extra strength Tylenol and Aleve in both cases and found it worked much better.
Part of the reason for this was I had seen what addiction can do to someone when I was in the Navy. Had a guy that was totally addicted to alcohol in my squadron. He was sent to rehab multiple times and, the last time, was put on Antabuse as a deterrent to drinking. In theory, Antabuse would make someone ill if they drank any kind of alcohol. For this guy, it didn't work as he found a way to get around it. He took his dosage, in front of officers, as ordered. He would then head out into town and slam the cheapest beer he could get his hands on. This would induce the desired reaction, that being he would throw up whatever was in his stomach. Since a majority of the Antabuse was still in his stomach, it would come up and he was now free to drink to his heart's content. This went on for a while, that is until he was caught in a bar by the squadron commanding officer during a Western Pacific deployment. The guy was flown back to the US and put in a military hospital, don't know what happened after that. This guy risked his life, his job and everything else just to get and stay drunk.
The fact that you were able to accept the help that was offered shows that you now have a chance to have a good life. I hope you can rebuild and/or recover what you've lost as I have seen how quickly someone can throw away their life due to drugs and alcohol

 

[Wesleys Custom RC]

WOW! thank you for your honesty! Not to us but to yourself. I know first hand that it takes alot.
You know, my take away is this; be carefull what you say,think and do to people that may hurt you in some way. What they may be going thru may be catastrophic and may have nothing to do with you.
God be with you and guide you my friend.

 

[ButchJackson]

James... I know first hand the pain and complete life altering effects....!!! My wife became addicted to prescribed pain pills... Lots of them from a " Pain Center " Ended in divorce ...nine months after it was final her LIFE !!!! In that year and nine months she flipped a Toyota 5 times....
Was a passenger in a van pulling cargo trailer made to a camper for a Paraplegic man ..she was passed out cold .. They were sucked in to a passing 18 wheeler on I-40 bounced off and jumped Armco barriers flipping 10 + time's... Killed man driving van she was in hospital seven days ... Each time wasted... That's the only thing that saved her from all ready being dead...
This whole time I had not seen or spoken to her... Driving out of my town one day I pass a road in town and look who it is walking and meeting her dealer ... Yes I did ...!! Whipped around and boom busted !!! "Raw Coke" Opioids... Coke trying to not be in a Coma 24/7...!!! Three months later brought here home let here stay there alone... I had moved next door after divorce to take care of my stepfather with Alzheimer's and my mother.. she showed up finally found out things were not as she hoped she was dead in less than 10 hours of being home...
Destroyed my entire being....
That was 2010... I'm still kinda dysfunctional today... And stay alone to this day...!!!

James count your BLESSINGS MAN...!!! U STILL HAVE A CHANCE but u Gotta WALK that line...

 

[Rick Sowell]

any updates on this, James posted this in 2018?

 

[Samuel Hagan JR]

He left Facebook in 2020.

 

[Andy Greene]

STAND TALL James,will be tough road,you can do this

Larry, did you know something new here ?? the last reply we saw was from over 4 years ago ?