TOO FUNNY

[Ray Sametz]

So, a Pirate walked Into a Bar

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

What do you mean? said the the pirate, "I feel fine."

What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.

Well, said the pirate, we were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.

The bartender replied, Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?

The pirate explained, we were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really.

What about the eye patch?

Oh, said the pirate, one day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over, I looked up and one of them **** in my eye.

You're kidding, said the bartender. You couldn't lose an eye just from bird ****.

"It was my first day with the hook."

 

[Andy Greene]

At least it wasnt a case of the crabs from the night before in town

 

[Glenn Gates]

Arg Matey, That is an old one Ray.

Here's another oldie.

A young man with a colorful crested hair doo was sitting on a bench. A older man came and sat on the bench also. Every once in a while the older man would look over at the younger man. The younger man eventually became annoyed and said "what are you looking at old Man"? The older man replied "when I was younger I drank quite a bit and did some things that I'm not proud of- I made love to a parrot once and was wondering if you were my son".