OT - Good joke found elswhere

[Brad Christy]

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please." The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?" The man answered "oh, about 164." The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-stellar space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc...

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please." Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool... again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out "Uh... bout 50". The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked, "A-r-e y-o-u p-e-o-p-l-e s-t-i-l-l h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A?

The sas thing is there are still aot of people who would answer "Yes."

Thanks. Brad.

Titan Racing Components

BlackJack Hydros

 

[Joe Wiebelhaus]

Oh Brad............................

 

[Bill Britton]

Ya know...

If George w. Busch was the dumbest president we had ever had (and he was)...

What the hell does that make Barack Obama?...

I for one intend to vote out EVERY single politician for my district who's name I recognize.

Democrat or Republican.

I strongly urge all to do the same. Especially you guys in California, Boxer and Pelosi must go!

Bill

 

[steve wood]

Ya know...

If George w. Busch was the dumbest president we had ever had (and he was)...

What the hell does that make Barack Obama?...

I for one intend to vote out EVERY single politician for my district who's name I recognize.

Democrat or Republican.

I strongly urge all to do the same. Especially you guys in California, Boxer and Pelosi must go!

Bill

bingo

 

[John Knight]

After FDR got elected President for the 4th time, Congress put into place term limits for the President. States have term limits for the Governors. However, Congress refuses to allow term limits for themselves and any one with any degree of common sense can figure out why. So it up to the voters to impose term limits ourselves and vote them out after their second term, if not before. This will eliminate much of the excess spending, pork barrel politics and back room dealing that we are so graciously served with from Washington. Do not think it will eliminate all but it will get rid of much as it will bring the one thing back into it that does not exist now - ACCOUNTABILITY to the citizens!

Until then we will continue to suffer ffrom the BOHICA effect - Bend Over Here It Comes Again

 

[Andy Greene]

Tragedies VS. Accidents

President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.

They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and

their meaning. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'?

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on farm, is playing in the

field and a tractor runs over him and kills him,would that be a tragedy?'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, would that be a tragedy?'

'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't

there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama.. That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly

wouldn't be a great loss... And it probably wouldn't be an accident

either

 

[John Knight]

Tragedies VS. Accidents

President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.

They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and

their meaning. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'?

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on farm, is playing in the

field and a tractor runs over him and kills him,would that be a tragedy?'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, would that be a tragedy?'

'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't

there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama.. That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly

wouldn't be a great loss... And it probably wouldn't be an accident

either

PRICELESS!!

 

[dizzy dean]

kids say the darnedest things :huh:

 

[Glenn Gates]

Tragedies VS. Accidents

President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.

They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and

their meaning. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'?

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on farm, is playing in the

field and a tractor runs over him and kills him,would that be a tragedy?'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, would that be a tragedy?'

'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't

there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama.. That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly

wouldn't be a great loss... And it probably wouldn't be an accident

either

Thanks Andy!!

 

[Daniel's Racing]

Thanks for the laugh, girlfriend sent this the other day.

Why we should not flirt!!!!!!!

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress

Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her

husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband,

protested, but she argued and said she was going to take

some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time

to be spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went.. The wife, after sleeping

soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early,

decided to go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was,

she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how

he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his

costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice

'chick' he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he

left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.

She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her

husband.

After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in

her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had

passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at

midnight , she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and

was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.

'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're

not there.' Then she asked, 'Did you dance much?'

He replied, 'I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I

got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into

the spare room and played poker all evening.'

'You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing

poker all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the

husband replied,

'Actually, I gave my costume to my Dad

.... apparently he had the time of his life.

 

[Glenn Gates]

Thanks for the laugh, girlfriend sent this the other day.

Why we should not flirt!!!!!!!

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress

Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her

husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband,

protested, but she argued and said she was going to take

some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time

to be spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went.. The wife, after sleeping

soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early,

decided to go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was,

she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how

he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his

costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice

'chick' he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he

left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.

She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her

husband.

After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in

her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had

passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at

midnight , she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and

was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.

'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're

not there.' Then she asked, 'Did you dance much?'

He replied, 'I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I

got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into

the spare room and played poker all evening.'

'You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing

poker all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the

husband replied,

'Actually, I gave my costume to my Dad

.... apparently he had the time of his life.

Thanks for the humor Daniel,Just go's to prove old guys rule!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: (even a blind squirll finds an acorn once in a while).

Glenn

 

[moparbarn]

my turn:

a man, while out of town on a business trip, calls home. his 6 year old daughter answers, & he asks where is mommy? she's upstairs with uncle joe, the girl replies. uncle joe, you don't have an uncle named joe, he said. yes, i do, & mommy's upstairs in the bedroom with him right now, the daughter answered. the father said, honey, i want you to run upstairs, open the bedroom door, & shout real loud "DADDY'S HOME!", then come back & tell me what happens. off the little girl goes, & pretty soon she comes back & says, ok, daddy, i did it. what happened, honey? she says mommy & uncle joe jumped out of bed, started running around all scared, mommy slipped & hit her head on the dresser, now she's laying on the floor, & she's not moving. uncle joe jumped out the window & landed in the empty swimming pool & he's not moving, either!

swimming pool? we don't have a swimming pool.... is this 555-2345?

 

[Andy Greene]

Lmoa

 

[Andy Greene]

Okay lets keep this going here-

Little Johnny likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

Johnny's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling."

So he calls theteacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him."

The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny."

She says yes I know who you are.

Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt."

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.

She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.

So his dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost."

The teacher says, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem."

Johnny's dad laughs and says, "No you didn't, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he'd see your azz before the day was over."